Updates!

   Today is another day from our Creator! God is good and I am a BLESSED lady! The temperatures feel like Summer has decided to stay, but I think I'll believe my calendar. Fall has to come sometime, especially here in IN. Maybe I should move to Montana and experience a real Winter this year! It sure is tempting!
   Can't wait to travel again. Spring 2012, here we come! Montana, old friends, and who knows where else I might end up? My true self is adventurous, the kids have just kinda slowed me down for now. :)  I miss my team and all the traveling that came with it.
   Some friends were here last night and some of the things she said just blew my mind! They came to show me a business opportunity and she said I was the first person she thought of when she saw it because she knows that I can do anything. (her words, not mine) She believes in me that much. Wow, do I feel like a heel! I don't even believe in myself that much anymore. Sadly, it's been hard to convince myself that I can do anything again. Some days I'd rather cry than try. And then I think 'stop feeling sorry for yourself and get off your arse and DO SOMETHING' with your life. No, I would never talk to anuone else like that, but I've always been that hard on myself. It is time I stop it and realize that I am not a superwoman. I am human and I shouldn't expect more from myself than I do from anyone else!
  With that being said, I am going to get my hair cut as soon as the youngest munchkin wakes up. :) YAY! I have not had my hair cut by a professional in probably almost a year, I keep doing it myself. But it is getting to me. It's long and yet really thin because it keeps falling out the last 2 months! AGH!! I know, just post baby stuff going on, but still! Please!
For some reason this week has been tough. Today I decided to pamper myself a little and so I have a book that I read a little bit of and this morning I had a candle burning. It was so nice! The candle smells so good, it makes you want to eat it! Makes the whole house smell good! I had ordered this candle off my supplier just so I can see the quality and was hoping to sell it eventually. Unfortunately I put it into a bag with some other things that were metal and the candle is in a glass container, so you can guess what happened. Yep, it got broken! So now I get to enjoy it. Yes, it was still usable! So I wanted you guys to see it too! You can go get one off my website if you'd like! www.ourfamilyshop.yolasite.com. There are a lot more cute things there, you might just enjoy yourself!   

  Well, I really need to get off the computer and get some other things done. Hope you have a great evening! God Bless all who read this!

Now go and do something to show someone you appreciate them! You will feel so good afterward!

Attitude

So here is how my day started out.........

Got woke up at 3:30 AM to my 22 month old crying, wanting into my bed...hmmm, fine! So I grab her, plop her down and we both go (hopefully) back to sleep. Nope! She pukes on my pillow, sheets, me, and herself! Dinner, dessert and milk.....yeah, u can imagine! So I rinse us both off and grab the sheets, rinse them and throw them in the washer. Now I give her some Virus be gone stuff and something to take down her temp and we lay down again. Now I really want to sleep, but I know what usually happens when she's sick. Puking every 5 minutes, usually NOT into  the bucket. But- I laid down anyway, praying for mercy!  

By the way- I had my first appointment this morning to sell some candles! And I canceled it due to the sick daughter....I REALLY needed this appointment!!! 

Amazingly, she sleeps and there is no more puking! Wow!! First time for everything! Woohoo! Praise The Lord!!! *sigh* OK, now- breakfast.....

"Mom, this milk smells funny! I think it's spoiled!" "OK, well- we will just take a bike ride to the store and pick up a few things but we will have to eat something else for breakfast, I guess." Hahahaha! We eat, get the bikes ready and get the girls strapped in.....and it looks like it wants to pour rain! OK, so we went about a quarter of a mile, turned around and came back- JUST a the rain started! OK- scratch that idea!

Now what, Lord!? What do I do to make this day productive? And what was his answer? "Love yourself" Wow! He knew my thought better than I did, 'cause I was getting mad at myself for my situation, since it's my fault! And getting mad at my husband who took off and has never helped with anything. Now I have 4 kids, no support whatsoever and I am blaming! Ay yi yi! I know better! But- I AM HUMAN!! OK- it is WAY past attitude check time!!

How do I- aha! That's where the problem is! God is in control, not me. Yet, I still catch myself thinking 'how will I'......... So God reminds me that HE is our Provider, Father to the fatherless, my DADDY, my GOD!! Praise Him!! Now my attitude is adjusted, I can go on with a smile on my face- knowing HE is in charge, HE orders our steps. I love you, Lord!! Thank you!

     Hello, friends! I've missed you, lol! The last few days have been pretty hectic, but today is the Lord's day and I take that seriously and get rest and spend time bonding with my kids. Right now, the dishwater is still in the sink because I'm not done with lunch dishes, but I needed a break, ahhh! Sounds lazy now that I say that- Oh well!   
     So here it is afternoon and time for Kaylee to take her nap, but I would like to take the kids and go walking out by the Goshen Dam. It's so beautiful out there. Even though it could be warmer, it could be much colder too. So I appreciate the fact that I don't need to wear a jacket and am planning to take advantage of the weather while we have it. Who knows when it will change again, this is IN, right?
     Lyndon is playing with Kaylee on my recliner and it's so fun to listen to him. He's so good with her! He put her to sleep yesterday when it was nap time. And yet he is so shy, that he refuses to get to know anyone at church. What's up with this phenomenon? Teen years? Or rebellion? Good grief, it was a fight to get him to church this morning, but somehow we made it!
     Elijah is my outside buddy. He's off playing soccer across the street, his favorite past time.
     The boys have wanted to spend quite a bit of time on the computer playing games and watching movies, so I told each of them they need to read books to earn time. So Lyndon has picked up Personality Plus- one that really helped me a few years ago and taught me a lot. Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself. Special Feature: Personality Profile Test. (Revised & Expanded Edition 32 printing, June 2000)). It helps you learn how to get along with people better, to understand others and accept people as they are. I believe this could fix many relationships, it helped me in so many ways. Helped me accept my kids' differences and to teach them to accept each other instead of making fun or laughing at each other. We all have different needs, wants, abilities and gifts. So if we appreciate each other and work together, we can all accomplish more than we ever can be alone. So, hopefully he will find something in the book that will help in some area of life. :) Learning is good! 



Ha ha, I just got fresh pineapple out to snack on and Lyndon says I'm strange, lol! ;) That's OK, I'll be strange if it means I'll be healthy. I also want to make some carrot juice this afternoon. Goodness, I am planning too many things instead of resting, aren't I? Well, I want to feel better!! I feel like there's junk in my body that needs to be deleted. So in order to do that, I have to put the good stuff in! So here we go.......time for salads, fresh fruits, veggies, and whole grains. Oh, and I've eased up on coffee. :)

I think I want to tell you all about a book I just finished reading called Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Lives (Including a 5-Step Plan for Self-Empowerment). I found this book and just thought it looked interesting since I have gone through some crazy things in the last two years and need to change my life. But for some reason I have not had my 'AHA' moment that is needed in order to make some serious changes. I want to, in the worst way- but I just haven't been able to yet. In this book, it says that you can't rush it, it just comes when you're ready. Ugh! But I will continue to strive forward everyday and pray for God's leading. Because ultimately He is in control and I want to be in His plan. This book was very empowering though, and opened my eyes and made me cry quite a few times. Inspiring stories of women who have gone through years of abuse or addictions and then pulling themselves up and changing their lives into something beautiful and serving others.

Lord, make me into what I ought to be! Mold me and move me, shape me but above all lead me.

Here we are on Good Friday. Our Lord suffered and dies so we can have a chance at Glory someday. Have we accepted Him and allowed Him to be Lord over our lives? Or do we still want things OUR way. Struggles, struggles...we all have them. What are mine? Hmm, belief in myself and my abilities, forgiving myself for wrongs in the past, yelling at my kids when they don't seem to be listening! UGH< hate that one! Knowing how much damage I as a parent can inflict on my children's self-esteem is a big burden for me. My oldest doesn't seem to struggle with it as much as the middle one, but still---we as parents have a huge God-given responsibility. He loaned these little ones to me to raise because he thought I could do it- will I let Him down? Will my boys know what it means to be a 'man' when they grow up? I didn't say an ADULT, I said a 'MAN'! Big difference!

To me, a man is someone who puts others' needs before his own, who works hard to provide for his family, is honest, has integrity, morals and ethics.I read this book that scared me to tears. I wept and asked God to intervene! Boys need MEN in their lives to teach and train and to be able to learn from their example how to live. The name of the book was 'Bringing up Boys' by Dr. James Dobson. He has raised his own children and has so much insight to what they need. There was also an entire chapter on Single Parents and help for us. I got really emotional because he seemed to understand the needs we have and the demands made on us. And so many times it just seems like there is no one who understands all of it! Unless you have lived it, you cannot comprehend it! As a single parent, we are in charge of everything and have all the responsibilities. Do the married people appreciate what your significant other does for you? Do you really realize all the little things they do? Stop and count what they do each day- even if they take out the trash and nothing else. Or if they went to work to provide for you and the family- did you tell them thank you? Did you tell them thank you for being a listening ear the last time they did? I guess I just want to encourage each of us to count our blessings instead of only seeing the negatives and dwelling on them. I have to stop and appreciate myself sometimes, for all the things I do on a daily basis for my kids- there's no one else here to tell me, so I need to. Give yourself permission to be happy and appreciate yourself, too! We cannot expect our spouse to fill our every need, we must take an active part in getting our needs met also! God is the one that we must depend on. If we only depend on our spouse, they will be so overwhelmed, they won't be able to function at their best. 

Here is another book I'm reminded of. Love and Respect.....the man NEEDS respect to survive and us women don't realize that, lol! We are all about Love! Love me, love me, love me! If only someone would love me, I'd be OK......is so many times the thought process of a single woman. Yet- if we haven't fully accepted the love of Christ how can we be ready for the love of a spouse? Women NEED love to survive. But what we fail to realize is that God is LOVE!!!  He is the author of Love!! He can love us like no MAN ever could! I have been shown this truth in the last year and it has been so wonderful. Yes, I may be physically alone, but God is the one who loves me and I don't feel that void of needing a man to show me that he loves me. God gives me flowers along the road that I can pick and take home for my table instead of a man to bring them to me. God gives me wonderful friends who have came over and helped me organize and clean my house in the last week when I was in need. It didn't take having a man here, it took God and Godly women who were listening to His prompting. I am so Blessed!!

Anyway- I might have overwhelmed some of you this morning. Hope it can give someone the courage to continue on, give God the Glory and enjoy life! Love and Prayers!
Lori

OK, so now I plan to start reading every day. The books that I know are going to help propel me in the right direction for my life. I think I will start with 'The Five Love Languages' since I sometimes wonder if I remember how to treat others. I know I have so much pain to deal with that sometimes it overshadows the needs of others. Today I had a scary episode.

My little princess is teething.....yeah! So, mom isn't feeling good and she is getting everything she's NOT supposed to! We moms know how that goes, right? My lack of patience combined with her grumpiness was not a great and fun day. But- by the Grace of God, we made it and I am now thankful that He brought me through it.
Anyway- by this afternoon when her incessant whining was really getting to me, I almost lost all control. I seriously wanted to punch something. But I couldn't find anything I was willing to hit, lol! I won't destroy my house, hitting my daughter wasn't even a thought!!!! and so I was without options, which made me laugh and renewed my sanity! If there had been a .....what do you call those bags you hang from the ceiling?.....yeah, one of those- if I had one in my house, it would have been put to good use today! :)

So long story short- it made me realize that something has to change! I didn't used to be like this. I never lost my temper before all this crap with my ex! The 'stuff' has to be dealt with!! No matter what! Even my boys tell me I'm different, well yeah- granted I went through a bunch of junk in the last 2 years and it is still a lot to deal with every day. The fact that I am pg isn't really a huge help, lol! I can't do all the things I would if I wasn't. But this too shall pass so endure it I will!

Do any other moms have episodes like this? If so, I'd really like to hear about them. I might feel a little more normal then, lol! Tonight I feel like a winner for getting through the day, but I also can't help but look back and wish I hadn't yelled when I did. Wish I had loved on her more or just put my own work on the back burner. But unfortunately, there is no one else that's going to do my work. Darn, huh? This is my life and God must really think I am something if he believes I can handle this day after day! 'Cause I'm not so sure. ;)

So I am now going into my own little world- u see this picture on top of my page? God made this scene and I plan on just meditating on it and thanking Him for His love and asking for a renewal of strength for tomorrow. God loves us all and He made these nature scenes for us to enjoy. So even if I'm not physically there, I can enjoy it and realize that someone else WAS there.......can you hear the birds? The sound of water running over the rocks.....the feel of the mist...awesome, so relaxing!

Hope you all have a wonderful night and a Blessed day tomorrow! Love, Lori