OK, so now I plan to start reading every day. The books that I know are going to help propel me in the right direction for my life. I think I will start with 'The Five Love Languages' since I sometimes wonder if I remember how to treat others. I know I have so much pain to deal with that sometimes it overshadows the needs of others. Today I had a scary episode.

My little princess is teething.....yeah! So, mom isn't feeling good and she is getting everything she's NOT supposed to! We moms know how that goes, right? My lack of patience combined with her grumpiness was not a great and fun day. But- by the Grace of God, we made it and I am now thankful that He brought me through it.
Anyway- by this afternoon when her incessant whining was really getting to me, I almost lost all control. I seriously wanted to punch something. But I couldn't find anything I was willing to hit, lol! I won't destroy my house, hitting my daughter wasn't even a thought!!!! and so I was without options, which made me laugh and renewed my sanity! If there had been a .....what do you call those bags you hang from the ceiling?.....yeah, one of those- if I had one in my house, it would have been put to good use today! :)

So long story short- it made me realize that something has to change! I didn't used to be like this. I never lost my temper before all this crap with my ex! The 'stuff' has to be dealt with!! No matter what! Even my boys tell me I'm different, well yeah- granted I went through a bunch of junk in the last 2 years and it is still a lot to deal with every day. The fact that I am pg isn't really a huge help, lol! I can't do all the things I would if I wasn't. But this too shall pass so endure it I will!

Do any other moms have episodes like this? If so, I'd really like to hear about them. I might feel a little more normal then, lol! Tonight I feel like a winner for getting through the day, but I also can't help but look back and wish I hadn't yelled when I did. Wish I had loved on her more or just put my own work on the back burner. But unfortunately, there is no one else that's going to do my work. Darn, huh? This is my life and God must really think I am something if he believes I can handle this day after day! 'Cause I'm not so sure. ;)

So I am now going into my own little world- u see this picture on top of my page? God made this scene and I plan on just meditating on it and thanking Him for His love and asking for a renewal of strength for tomorrow. God loves us all and He made these nature scenes for us to enjoy. So even if I'm not physically there, I can enjoy it and realize that someone else WAS there.......can you hear the birds? The sound of water running over the rocks.....the feel of the mist...awesome, so relaxing!

Hope you all have a wonderful night and a Blessed day tomorrow! Love, Lori