Ceviche and Pics of my princess :)

I just had to share my little baby doll with you all! Today I made something new and she actually LIKED it! OK, you must understand, she got her father's taste-buds and is very picky! But this is a picture of her enjoying her new love, yay! I made 'ceviche' today, a Mexican dish with cilantro, shrimp, lime and lemon juice,onion, ketchup, avocado and Orange Fanta pop. Yes I know it sounds like quite the strange concoction, but let me tell you it is DELICIOUS!! Mmmm, Mmmm, mmm I love it! OK, mine did not turn out quite the way it was when I first tasted the neighbor's, but it was still really good. It's to be eaten with crackers and so my little Kaylee was dipping away and enjoying herself. Of course, this was after I tried to give her a taste and she barely stuck her tongue out to taste it, afraid she might not like it. Seriously, I wish I could show you what she does, it is so funny! She always has to make sure she likes it before you can get any into her mouth! Just a nibble- mousy bite if even that much, lol! She lights up my life!

Oh, and there's a picture of my daughter and I that was taken by a friend of mine today. She does a wonderful job, I am so in awe!  You can check out www.kissphotography.net. She really loves what she does and it shows!! I am thinking about letting her do pics of the baby when he or she finally makes an appearance. :) And no, no baby yet! I am sitting here having some good contractions though! Hmm, will it go anywhere? Time will tell, right? I have had so many BH contractions that I think I have given up hope. I'll just be pg forever, lol!

OK, OK I need to get to bed right now as I haven't been sleeping too well and we all know I need my rest and strength to have this baby. And yes I know it won't be forever, lol!

So I will say Good Night all my friends- Oh, by the way- who all's going to Starbucks for a free coffee tomorrow? ME, ME, ME, ME!!

God Bless!
Lori

Oh boy- my head is swimming with all kinds of things I'd like to say. Where do I begin?

The book- 5 Love Languages- whoa! I thought I remembered what it said, but I was wrong! Sheesh! Yes, it says it's for couples and why am I reading it when there's no man here? Well, because I love people and this book also helps me understand other people's love languages. For example- I have this wonderful friend who I was so confused about. I could tell there were some hurts going on inside, but I just couldn't figure out how to help her. One day we got on the subject of this book and she said her love language was 'words of affirmation' ! Blew me away! I never would've guessed! To me, she always seems to be cool, calm and collected- almost as if she never needs anything. Oh, what I would do to be like that, lol! But- we all need to be loved. By friends, spouses, kids, parents, and anyone we come into contact with. The clerk at the store- are they rude? Did they possibly have a bad day and are just taking it out on you because you happened to be in front of them at that time? Usually when someone treats us badly, it's because of an issue within themselves, which helps me to overlook things. But it still can be really hurtful!

As it says in Luke 6:28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. 6:35 Love your enemies, do good, lend, hoping for nothing in return.....
6:37 Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven.
OK, maybe I'm not perfect in the quotations, but we get the drift. These verses kinda slapped me in the face this morning. I have issues to deal with, forgiveness to seek and love to give. Is it easy to follow these rules? Not really, but easier than the alternative, I think! I can't wait to hear God say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." This is what I strive for.

And how did I get on this subject again? Oh yeah, loving others. How can we show love to others when we need so much? Well, that answer for me has been- seek God, he promises to fulfill all our needs!! And he does!! God has shown me LOVE in this last year like never before. He has gotten me out of bed and said "I have something for you" and I could not disobey! I felt his physical presence with me in my room and I was Blessed beyond what I have ever thought possible. When someone says God doesn't speak to them, I know it is only because they do not know how to hear him. God speaks to us everyday- if only we would listen. Dani Johnson talks about that quite a bit on her cd's. How she came from where she was completely broken to being restored through Christ. I give God all the Glory for what He has done in me. I would never have made it these last 2 years without leaning on him entirely. Someone once said to me, "WE who HAVE to lean on God are more Blessed than those who are self-sufficient and independent." I think she's right, but it's till hard when you've been so independent your whole life.

I feel like I'm rambling now, so I will go get some lunch and wish you all a good day. My daughter is taking her nap and I plan to enjoy these next few minutes of silence. :)

God Bless all of you!
Lori

OK, so now I plan to start reading every day. The books that I know are going to help propel me in the right direction for my life. I think I will start with 'The Five Love Languages' since I sometimes wonder if I remember how to treat others. I know I have so much pain to deal with that sometimes it overshadows the needs of others. Today I had a scary episode.

My little princess is teething.....yeah! So, mom isn't feeling good and she is getting everything she's NOT supposed to! We moms know how that goes, right? My lack of patience combined with her grumpiness was not a great and fun day. But- by the Grace of God, we made it and I am now thankful that He brought me through it.
Anyway- by this afternoon when her incessant whining was really getting to me, I almost lost all control. I seriously wanted to punch something. But I couldn't find anything I was willing to hit, lol! I won't destroy my house, hitting my daughter wasn't even a thought!!!! and so I was without options, which made me laugh and renewed my sanity! If there had been a .....what do you call those bags you hang from the ceiling?.....yeah, one of those- if I had one in my house, it would have been put to good use today! :)

So long story short- it made me realize that something has to change! I didn't used to be like this. I never lost my temper before all this crap with my ex! The 'stuff' has to be dealt with!! No matter what! Even my boys tell me I'm different, well yeah- granted I went through a bunch of junk in the last 2 years and it is still a lot to deal with every day. The fact that I am pg isn't really a huge help, lol! I can't do all the things I would if I wasn't. But this too shall pass so endure it I will!

Do any other moms have episodes like this? If so, I'd really like to hear about them. I might feel a little more normal then, lol! Tonight I feel like a winner for getting through the day, but I also can't help but look back and wish I hadn't yelled when I did. Wish I had loved on her more or just put my own work on the back burner. But unfortunately, there is no one else that's going to do my work. Darn, huh? This is my life and God must really think I am something if he believes I can handle this day after day! 'Cause I'm not so sure. ;)

So I am now going into my own little world- u see this picture on top of my page? God made this scene and I plan on just meditating on it and thanking Him for His love and asking for a renewal of strength for tomorrow. God loves us all and He made these nature scenes for us to enjoy. So even if I'm not physically there, I can enjoy it and realize that someone else WAS there.......can you hear the birds? The sound of water running over the rocks.....the feel of the mist...awesome, so relaxing!

Hope you all have a wonderful night and a Blessed day tomorrow! Love, Lori